Grey's Anatomy frequently has its characters endure their fair share of traumatic experiences, both in and out of the hospital. However, season 17, episode 9— titled "In My Life"— takes a more introspective approach, focusing on Kim Raver's "Teddy Altman" as she experiences an intense episode of PTSD.
"Teddy" is stuck inside her mind as she battles PTSD
"Teddy" begins the show listless in bed as "Owen" tries to talk to her, even offering her toast. However, her non-responsiveness is shown to be a result of her reliving her past trauma. In her mind, "Teddy" walks through a version of the hospital where "Meredith" is off the ventilator, and "DeLuca" is still alive.
She also calls out to her past lover, "Allison," but is unable to reach her. Back in the real world, "Owen" enlists "Amelia's" help to try and get "Teddy" to come to, attempting to give her fluids. "Owen" says he's only seen that vacant look "in soldiers" before, alluding to the post-traumatic stress she is suffering.
Throughout the course of the episode, memories and moments from "Teddy's" past relationships collide with new ones she attempts to create. When she tells "Tom" that she doesn't want to be with him, she also hands him a grenade, inadvertently killing him. "DeLuca" tells her that she's "always blowing things up," and suggests that maybe this time, she won't kill him.
"Teddy" tries to fix her past with "Owen" and "Allison"
"Teddy" decides to choose "Owen" in this PTSD-fuelled version of reality, believing that this way, she never would have met— and hurt— "DeLuca". "Teddy" tells "Owen" that "Alison" was the love of her life, rather than hiding her truth from him. However, "Owen's" wedding vows are constantly interrupted by texts, and he even calls her "Amelia" at the breakfast table, so she leaves.
"DeLuca" also asks "Teddy" about "Allison," who she calls "the most alive person I've ever known." She explains that "Allison" helped get her through things when her parents died. After the two have an emotional conversation, "Teddy" kisses "Alison," which leads to their relationship beginning.
While "Teddy" says she didn't mean to hurt anyone, she wonders if staying home with "Alison" would have prevented her death. However, she learns she can't change what's already happened, accepting that "there is no joy without pain," as "Meredith" tells her. Ultimately, the episode ends on a hopeful note, with "Teddy" out of bed and holding her daughter as "Owen" watches.
They said goodbye to "DeLuca"...
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